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Fundamentally Loathesome

Shoot Myself To Love You

(no subject)
I just wish, I could make everything. WORK.

Si senor..It's been a long fucking time since I wrote in this..I'm going to change a few things and propably not write in this for another couple years..But if anyone cares out here..I'm still alive..

Woop woop!

Brush Yo Teef.
do not resist the beat.

Tom Real / The Rogue Element "Resistance Is Futile"
Beats and Bobz, Vol.2 '04.

(no subject)
Stop fucking using me.

I'm not going to be your dickless bitch anymore.

I got this.
My license is suspended,
from speeding tickets and wreckless driving..
Propably got a warrant out for my arrest in D-town..
Crashed 3 cars in six months,
and my insurance dropped me like a bad habit.

I still say fuck a seat belt,

i'm in control until i'm letting go.

i'm needin' neden and soup and to know when the fawking gathering is going to be..

I'm Back
Weighing in at 176lbs..
In the black trunks...
The contender..

I can't believe all the weight I have lost.

I'm a new man..But i'm still the same..Not really.

My cat done ran away.

Or he's been kidnapped..or killed..

But I hope he's anything but a cat popsicle...Or in someone's Poo Poo Platter..

3 days.

Happy Valentines Day..

I miss ford.

College party

im back bitches.

Hurt my ankle. Doing quizzes.

Take the quiz: "what kind of drug are you? (includes pictures)"

you are weed.you are laid back, ralaxed and outgoing.

Dig it?

Name:Ash "Loaf" "Smokey" Adams.
Birthday:May 20 1988.
Birthplace:West Chester, Pa.
Current Location:West Chester, Pa.
Eye Color:Green.
Hair Color:Brown.
Height:5 ft. 5 in.
Right Handed or Left Handed:Right.
Your Heritage:Italian, German, Irish, Scottish, Cherokee.
The Shoes You Wore Today:Oakley's and my Stanleys.
Your Weakness:Alcohol.
Your Fears:Overdosing. (Again.)
Your Perfect Pizza:Meatballs and spinach.
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:Passing.
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:lol
Thoughts First Waking Up:What can I smoke today?
Your Best Physical Feature:None.
Your Bedtime:Whenever I am calmed down from the drugs.
Your Most Missed Memory:Ones I can't remember?
Pepsi or Coke:Neither. Jones.
MacDonalds or Burger King:McDonalds.
Single or Group Dates:Single.
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:Neither. Harneys.
Chocolate or Vanilla:No preference.
Cappuccino or Coffee:Both.
Do you Smoke:Yes.
Do you Swear:Fuck yes.
Do you Sing:Yes.
Do you Shower Daily:Of course.
Have you Been in Love:I believe I have.
Do you want to go to College:No.
Do you want to get Married:Maybe.
Do you belive in yourself:Sometimes.
Do you get Motion Sickness:No.
Do you think you are Attractive:Not really.
Are you a Health Freak:No.
Do you get along with your Parents:Sometimes.
Do you like Thunderstorms:Yes.
Do you play an Instrument:No.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:Yes.
In the past month have you Smoked:Yes.
In the past month have you been on Drugs:Yes.
In the past month have you gone on a Date:No.
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:Yes.
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:No.
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:No.
In the past month have you been on Stage:Define stage.
In the past month have you been Dumped:No.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:No.
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:Yes.
Ever been Drunk:Yes.
Ever been called a Tease:No.
Ever been Beaten up:No.
Ever Shoplifted:Yes.
How do you want to Die:Falling down the steps smoking a blunt.
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:A renaissance man.
What country would you most like to Visit:Canada.
In a Boy/Girl..
Favourite Eye Color:Green or brown.
Favourite Hair Color:Don't care.
Short or Long Hair:Depends.
Height:Don't care.
Weight:Don't care.
Best Clothing Style:Mine. Bubba Sparxxx+Everlast+Kid Rock
Number of Drugs I have taken:4?
Number of CDs I own:Alot.
Number of Piercings:None yet.
Number of Tattoos:None yet.
Number of things in my Past I Regret:Too many.


(no subject)
Last night I tried to get in touch with my homeboy, Hayden.
He was busy with his girlfriend.
She was so infatuated with him that she was the secretary who picked up his phone for him. She wouldn't let me talk to him.
So she thought she hung up.

Then I heard their voices. As I cried out to them in an attempt to get my partner back.

I paused, focusing in on the content of which he spoke.
What he told her, blatent lies.

He told her that I was taking testosterone, and that he didn't necissarily agree with it. He thought I was too young* to be starting testosterone, and planning for a sex change.

He made me seem like some kind of monster. Alot like Frankenstein's monster.
An ugly cruel beast, surviving on it's own self loathing and altercations. When in actuality, he is the bold two-faced liar.

Indeed the wretched spawn of his father and mother, who were both so rude, they couldn't stand each other, and raised the kid to be as rude as they. Bussing him back and forth like a piece of meat.

I was shocked. I went into a state of contemplation.

Then he told her that my parents, aren't really parents. Because they let me off the hook with things like smoking. And at least I can for once be fucking honest, and not go around their backs about it. Fuck. Just cause his Mom gives him 24/7 grief, and mine DOESN'T because she can fucking trust me! At least I have cleared myself of this compulsive lying to myself and my parents.

My parents won't up and send me away.
My parents didn't fuck up like yours did.
My parents were right, you are a fucking two-faced lying ass-hole.

The boy needs to fucking wise his ass up. Right to my fucking face.
He used to protect me.
Then he started to control me.
Now he lost me, and he's trying to protect me, something that will make me unhappy.

Matter Of Fact, You Wouldn't Even Recognize Me Anymore, Not That You Knew Me Back Then, But It All Comes Back To Me In The End

[consider the source][3 seconds]

*Hayden and I are about 3 months apart by birth